Ya know when you reach that point when you can’t possibly feel any lower?
when you feel like no cares, and you get so fed up that you just explode on everyone around you? even if they don’t deserve it?
I think a lot of my problem has to do with the love of my life isn’t here.
he’s not gone, he doesn’t love someone else, the sad part is he’s still mine.
he’s just not here.
i can’t hold him, i can’t kiss him. i can’t tell him how perfect he is. i can’t show him how much i love him. i can’t tell him about my day. i can’t vent. i can’t cry. I can’t tell anyone shit cause i can’t trust people. even my BEST friend betrayed me. i can’t buy him things for fun. last night i cried at his house. in front of his parents, made his mom cry, because she misses him too. shit gets old. The scariest part is, i don’t know when all of us will see him again. No one has control. i feel like i’m being punished and i didn’t even do anything. i think about him 24/7, i got a letter, saying that he dreams of me every night. saying he misses me more than anything in this world. he’s missing me grow up. he’s missing my life. my brothers having another baby, i hope he can be here to see it. But i can’t get my hopes up.
i miss him. No one cares.
you can try to understand, but the bottom line is, no one does.